alllexxiis

today i got to dress up as a cowboy.
outfit: red and black cowboy boots, green stockings the color of lichen, a teal dress, and a leather cowboy hat, and my sweet potato colored winter coat

a little odd, but you gotta dress the part when you're going to stables for a birthday party

RIGHT?

i might even come into ownership of a picture.

haiku:
i wore boots
the winter made it cold
goosebumps

I just spent 20 minutes of the phone trying to talk to the comcast people... only to realize that I have directv

and now that 70's show is on and its very funny

i went to sign up for a live journal, realized that i already had one, and here i am
and i can't get the background off.

Okay, so I had to write a story for english class and I have 2 out of the 3 characters done. It's my first story that I've ever written that's not been for a k-3rd grade audience. So if any of you have pointers I would really appreciate it.


I resolved not to yell back. I would just wait out the expression of his wrath. I had absolutely no reason to fight back. Just because he was yelling a string of profanities didn’t mean I had to respond. As his yelling got louder and more intense I had to retaliate.
He was testing my control. It never was any good. He was seeing just how angry he could get me before I snapped. When he started accusing my family of outrageous things I snapped. This may have been because they actually held some truth. I’m still not completely sure. Whatever the case it was then that the last few straws-those which would break me-were placed onto my back.
“Caleb”, I yelled, “Who in the world do you think you are to talk to me like that?” At this point I was furious. As he leaned close to me and roared in response, little pellets of spit hitting me in the face. I was feeling not only outrage, but disgrace and humiliation as well. He was embarrassing me in front of the people that I had grown up with. He was purposely hurting me by revealing secrets that I had trusted to no one but him. I was far from being okay with this. Far from feeling as if I would ever forgive him.
Instead of doing what I usually would I have done-yell, cry, and crawl away-I hit him. Hard. I did it was all of the strength that I could muster. It was a good bit too. I’m not small, remember. I put all 165 pounds of me into that punch. With it I broke his cheekbone and gave him a black eye. It wasn’t fully intentional. My rage had taken over even the best of me during those moments.
When I look back I realize that I was horrified to see that I had hurt him. I wanted to take it back. I wanted to hold him and apologize over and over again. This is why I ran.
I ran the three miles to my mother’s apartment without stopping. When I got into the living room I collapsed; I broke down. I was tired: both mentally and physically. I had hurt him. After years of loving and comforting him; living with him and caring for him, I had hurt him. And I had done it on purpose.

I stood there stunned after she hit me. The pain probably didn’t hit me for a full minute afterwards. When I saw her run from me I fell to my knees. She had looked at me as if I had the plague while I was speaking. No, she looked at me as if I was the plague. As if I were the one responsible for the slaughter that came with it. I wondered if there were any way to fix what I had just done. I had just run her out of my life forever. I was a monster.
I stayed in that room and glared. I glared at everyone who was staring at our fight. I glared at everyone who was witness to the terrible things that I had said. I glared at everyone who had witnessed my defeat. When I realized that everyone would know tomorrow that I had been seriously hurt my a girl I winced. That just served to hurt me cheek more.
As I though back to everything that I had done I realized something. Anything that were to happen from that point forward regarding Elliot and me would be the fault of one person. Me. I had gone past the point of no return and ruined our relationship. It’s funny how simple words can do that. Ruin everything that you have worked for in your life. It makes me wonder what it would be like to be a caveman. Someone who does not have the human capacity for language that we have. Their emotions must have had ridiculously little strain on them. If they even had emotions. I I’m doubtful of the idea.
At that point I realized that we would have to split up our possessions. We would have to sell our small apartment to another pair of unlucky buyers. The ring that I had bought her only two days ago would have to be returned. I suppose it was for the best that I hadn’t proposed. That would have just made things harder. It would have been even more difficult for the two of us to part ways.
It might have been minutes or it might have been hours, but when I got up I was sore all over. I slowly walked back to the apartment to have a good look at what we had. Elliot and I. When I got there the door was unlocked, so I thought she might be home.
But when I got in, I realized that no, she wasn’t home. And when I went into her room I realized that much of her stuff was gone as well. She had packed her bags and gone to stay somewhere else. She couldn’t stand the thought of staying with me one last night.

4-25
so I found out on sunday that I get to go to shrimp fest with my mom. I'm pretty darn excited. Miss Misty is coming over to florida from texas, and I'm gonna get to see all of my florida family (even poppy and jason!) and i'm extremely excited. PLUS, I get two days off of school and I get to come back tan. Umm... I'm TERRIBLE at potmaking by the way. my pot is ugly and limp and i just hate clay and will never work with it again after this class. I'm probably lying but who cares?

So after I put the kid to sleep tonight I watch Titanic. ohh, that is one weepy movie. I had watched before, when I was young... say 7 or so. However, now that I watch it and fully comprehend what is going on it's just HEARTBREAKING. It's a fantastic movie. (plus is has a hot blonde with a good chin in it {leonardo decaprio] so that doesn't hurt the rating any). It really makes me want to have my heart broken/not have it broken. basically, it just makes me want to be in a position that leaves me vulnerable to it being broken. never having even come close to "loving" a boy or having my heart broken (except when my grandmother died) I kind of feel like I am missing out. However, I have a lot of time still, and for that I am grateful. I can honestly say that if I died today I would be pissed off because I didn't get to fall in love and all of that stuff that is supposed to be so good.

oh, and sandy has told me that I should watch steel magnolia because it is amazing. so i'm looking forward to that.

jack and rose in love
a beautiful creation
that is heard no more

mari-jah-wanna
april twentieth is now
have an illin day

i might only be kidding.
who knows?
you sure dont.

I suppose that I should actually be getting a livejournal so that I can write in it and blog my thoughts etc. However, I already do this in the diary that I have on my computer, so I see no reason to do it here. The reason I got this livejournal is because I want to be able to contact the people who have the ability to make me relax after a long day; the people who write D/G fanfiction. I also wanted to be able to go to their pages without having to search all of eternity only to not find the page that I want. so this is this.

however, I will compose a haiku about this phenomena of me getting a livejournal. I like haiku's.

oh, sweet livejournal!
home to draco and ginny,
invaders of dreams.